"Uughh dating! It's such a process!" This is a common complaint I hear from single people. I felt that way at one point also. I do not feel like that anymore. I think the best way to find a good relationship, or at least enjoy the dating process is to stop looking for "The One"! When you meet someone or go out with someone, don't automatically start to decide if they are "It", or if there is long-term potential there. Women especially, are great at that.

I know that it is to avoid disaster. I know that we don't like to "Waste our time" on someone or something that won't work out, could cause hurt, etc... I get all that I really do. Break ups suck. The truth is though, most of us don't hit a home-run on the first swing- and beak-ups will happen. However, if you meet people just for the sake of meeting people- because people are interesting, because you are curious, life- and dating, become much more fun.

When I started just simply meeting people for their own sake, I made a lot of friends, and was always in a "position to find good." When that pressure is off of you (and him), you are able to relax and just enjoy a person. Some people you will meet and hang out with a time or two, some become friends, some become more than that if there is a romantic connection. Some you do end up dating a bit more, having an exclusive relationship, and sleeping with. The hurt when that doesn't work out is what you want to avoid- but there is a lesson in all hurts, all experiences. I don't believe that there is one single person that I have met that has been a "waste of my time."

By meeting people and learning about their lives, their passions, their views, and their livelihoods, I was exposed to all kinds of things I wouldn't have been otherwise. Some things are now part of my own life and who I am, and what I would like to do. Soaring for one, is a particular love of mine I may not know about if I had not met a certain person. My favorite musician, a particular restaurant in San Diego, a business philosophy, dark rye bread, paintball, moto-x racing, a new way to cook prawns- all because I met people. Other things I learned that I had no aptitude for- not much of a rodeo girl, computer graphic design, mountain biking, golf... (I am a BAD golfer). However, none of these experiences were a waste of time. Even the ones that stung a bit. Especially, the ones that stung a bit because that is where I learned the most about me- and what good looks like to me.

I'm not saying date jerks because you learn something. "Knowing when to fold 'em" is still important, (Before nasty if possible). I am saying be of the mindset there is something to be gained from every person even if its not a forever situation. Don't be afraid to meet people and care about them. Also, try to leave those people you meet better than you found them. Try to offer something, and enjoy what others have to offer, make friends- both men and women. I bet that when you do that, you have a better chance of stumbling upon the "One".