A readers letter prompted the question "So what's the thing with guys and their mixed signals?" She continued, "I have been seeing this guy on and off for a few months now. He seems like a great guy and we have fun together. He says that he likes me and has a great time when he's with me but then I don't hear from him for a few days-or even a week. He says he is busy, or sometimes he will make tentative plans with me and then I end up waiting to make other plans and don't hear from him. What's his deal? Does he like me?"

Oh, I am going to catch a bit of hell for this, but here goes. I truly believe guys don't send mixed signals. It's usually a matter of if we want to see the real signal or not. Think of that one guy that chased after you- did you ever wonder where you stood with him? That's what I thought. When a guy really cares- truly cares, you know it.

Sure, he likes you. He has fun with you. You're fine for a evening out if nothing else is happening, or he has last minute tickets to something- maybe even enjoys sleeping with you (if you are at that point). But that magic, the spark that makes men include you in their lives no matter what else, or at least bother to communicate with you when they can't, sorry to say, does not seem to be there.

Now I am not one to tell a girl to walk when I have never seen the relationship personally. A few months is not very long in "guy time"- men do not start to think of how your name will sound with his after three dates! It may be that he is taking it slow, just letting things develop on their own etc...Understanding about his work and other life priorities is a very attractive feature for a woman to have while at the same time not playing the "doormat" role. I am not sure what your needs are as far as how often a man contacts or you get together. Perhaps they are not the same as his.

My general philosophy is that if it always seems like a struggle, you are the one putting in all the effort, you are the one making all the plans, and you are the one always wondering- it's time to call it for what it is. (Men do not like to do this.) That is not what "Good looks like to me", and it is "Time to fold 'em." Besides, it is unattractive. Don't ask me how I know this- I just do. (Maybe I have done that in a past life)

Ok, so for some unsolicited walking advice: No need for nasty, no need to get all bitter and carry it around. He didn't set out to hurt you or use you. He didn't lead you on. (Usually). Most of the time, he probably does like you, thinks you are a great girl- and is wondering to himself why he is not absolutely crazy about you. That is usually the "mixed signals" story. It's really not you- and it's not him either, it just is- or isn't I should say.

Part classy. Next time he calls just let him know you don't feel as if you want the same things right now and maybe you should step back and be friends awhile. (NOTE: Friends does NOT mean booty call. Friends is a level of communication that you are comfortable with knowing that the relationship is not going forward. If talking to him, seeing him, hanging out is not good for you right now until you get that perspective- don't).