Are You In Charge Of Your Business Success?
- By Heather Dominick
- Published 01/22/2010
- Advice
- Unrated
Let me tell you a little story...
I have this friend, a lovely woman inside and out, who happens to be a witch. No, I don't mean she's snarky with family members and rude to people in the service industry. I mean she has magical powers. All she has to do is wiggle her nose and her house is clean, she's ready for an impromptu dinner party for twelve, and she has the perfect dress to for the occasion. Wiggle it again and she has a martini in hand for her husband when he walks in the door.
Unfortunately, she's also under constant pressure from multiple sources to redefine her authentic self and purpose. When she and her husband married, he presured her to promise that she wouldn't use her magical powers anymore. I know! I'm serious!
She stands in her kitchen staring at a sink full of dirty breakfast dishes while her neighbor lady pounds on her back door demanding a cup of a sugar and the mailman - recently transformed into a charming cockapoo - trots through the house barking at light fairies. In thirty seconds, she could use her gifts to solve all of her problems. Wiggle her nose and the dishes would be clean, her neighbor's house would be buried under a 200 ton avalanche of refined white sugar, and the cockapoo would be out of her house delivering the mail with his teeth. Sixty seconds later, she could be lounging in a hot tub in her backyard, enjoying calorie-free chocolate chips cookies served to her by buff android serving men.
It's not like Darren would know - he's off at the agency chatting up potential advertising clients. So why doesn 't my friend wiggle her nose?
Because she has allowed her self-knowledge to be pre-empted by her husband's expectations.
What's worse is that her mother has the opposite expectations! Every week or so, her mother sweeps in, insults the husband, and demands that my friend abandon her new life. The mother handles it badly - I think it was completely wrong to give him donkey ears, and I said so to my friend - but I have to admit, she has a point.
"You've got to tune into your intentions," I told her. "It's time to discover who Samantha is, and bring her out into the light where she can really actualize her life purpose."
Ok, if you haven't figured it out yet, I might be exaggerating the tinnnnnniest bit when I describe Samantha Stevens as a friend. She' is more like an acquaintance. Or maybe an even more accurate description might be, "fictional character I've watched on Nick at Night" (Hey! We all have our guilty pleasures!)
But the situation I'm describing isn't as far away from your business as you might think:
Sure, maybe your mother hasn't afflicted your husband with the need to sing everything that he says, but she may be pressuring you to meet her definition of success.
Your husband might have expectations of you that don't really grow you in the direction you need to go.
Many of your relationships, in fact, might be structured on the unspoken contract that you will act in a role that no longer fits you . . . or that never fit you in the first place.
Women, in particular, are often taught from early childhood that their role is to please others. Many of us lose our very selves in the journey from childhood to adulthood. And now, now that you've embarked on a new life of coaching, healing or other heart-based business pursuit, you're faced with tuning into a part of you that has been silenced for far too long.
Where do you begin?
* Turn inward. There is a point in decision-making where seeking the input of others is helpful and productive. This isn't one of them. Through belief transformation work, journaling and soul-searching, you have to begin the discovery of YOURself.
Who are you?
What do you really desire out of life?
What is your life purpose?
* If the "noise" of others' spoken or unspoken expectations begins to intrude on your progress, address the messages you're getting - in privacy at first.
If you got a message from y our sister, for example, that you were irresponsible to walk away from your corporate life to start a business, journal about it. If it's bothering you, she must have hit on an insecurity. Consider that a gift from her - she's just pinpointed an area of fear that you need to pull out and address. She never needs to know about any of this - once you "defuse" the fearful spot, her comments won't affect you the same way.
* Be prepared for a lifetime journey of self-discovery, not only because you're a complex creation, but also because you are ever changing.
If I were to give advice to my "friend" Samantha, I'd tell her that the more work she does to discover and grow her own gifts, talents and personality, the more joyful authenticity she has to bring into any relationship - including her clients. Yes, our lo ved ones may initially resist when we step out of the box of their expectations, but in the long run, everyone is the richer for it.
Your Call To Action
1. Check in: Do you know who you are and what you were born to do?
2. Check in again: Do you have the courage to bring your life purpose out into the light and let it grow and flourish?
3. Give yourself permission to bridge your passion into 6-figure profits.
I have this friend, a lovely woman inside and out, who happens to be a witch. No, I don't mean she's snarky with family members and rude to people in the service industry. I mean she has magical powers. All she has to do is wiggle her nose and her house is clean, she's ready for an impromptu dinner party for twelve, and she has the perfect dress to for the occasion. Wiggle it again and she has a martini in hand for her husband when he walks in the door.
Unfortunately, she's also under constant pressure from multiple sources to redefine her authentic self and purpose. When she and her husband married, he presured her to promise that she wouldn't use her magical powers anymore. I know! I'm serious!
She stands in her kitchen staring at a sink full of dirty breakfast dishes while her neighbor lady pounds on her back door demanding a cup of a sugar and the mailman - recently transformed into a charming cockapoo - trots through the house barking at light fairies. In thirty seconds, she could use her gifts to solve all of her problems. Wiggle her nose and the dishes would be clean, her neighbor's house would be buried under a 200 ton avalanche of refined white sugar, and the cockapoo would be out of her house delivering the mail with his teeth. Sixty seconds later, she could be lounging in a hot tub in her backyard, enjoying calorie-free chocolate chips cookies served to her by buff android serving men.
It's not like Darren would know - he's off at the agency chatting up potential advertising clients. So why doesn 't my friend wiggle her nose?
Because she has allowed her self-knowledge to be pre-empted by her husband's expectations.
What's worse is that her mother has the opposite expectations! Every week or so, her mother sweeps in, insults the husband, and demands that my friend abandon her new life. The mother handles it badly - I think it was completely wrong to give him donkey ears, and I said so to my friend - but I have to admit, she has a point.
"You've got to tune into your intentions," I told her. "It's time to discover who Samantha is, and bring her out into the light where she can really actualize her life purpose."
Ok, if you haven't figured it out yet, I might be exaggerating the tinnnnnniest bit when I describe Samantha Stevens as a friend. She' is more like an acquaintance. Or maybe an even more accurate description might be, "fictional character I've watched on Nick at Night" (Hey! We all have our guilty pleasures!)
But the situation I'm describing isn't as far away from your business as you might think:
Sure, maybe your mother hasn't afflicted your husband with the need to sing everything that he says, but she may be pressuring you to meet her definition of success.
Your husband might have expectations of you that don't really grow you in the direction you need to go.
Many of your relationships, in fact, might be structured on the unspoken contract that you will act in a role that no longer fits you . . . or that never fit you in the first place.
Women, in particular, are often taught from early childhood that their role is to please others. Many of us lose our very selves in the journey from childhood to adulthood. And now, now that you've embarked on a new life of coaching, healing or other heart-based business pursuit, you're faced with tuning into a part of you that has been silenced for far too long.
Where do you begin?
* Turn inward. There is a point in decision-making where seeking the input of others is helpful and productive. This isn't one of them. Through belief transformation work, journaling and soul-searching, you have to begin the discovery of YOURself.
Who are you?
What do you really desire out of life?
What is your life purpose?
* If the "noise" of others' spoken or unspoken expectations begins to intrude on your progress, address the messages you're getting - in privacy at first.
If you got a message from y our sister, for example, that you were irresponsible to walk away from your corporate life to start a business, journal about it. If it's bothering you, she must have hit on an insecurity. Consider that a gift from her - she's just pinpointed an area of fear that you need to pull out and address. She never needs to know about any of this - once you "defuse" the fearful spot, her comments won't affect you the same way.
* Be prepared for a lifetime journey of self-discovery, not only because you're a complex creation, but also because you are ever changing.
If I were to give advice to my "friend" Samantha, I'd tell her that the more work she does to discover and grow her own gifts, talents and personality, the more joyful authenticity she has to bring into any relationship - including her clients. Yes, our lo ved ones may initially resist when we step out of the box of their expectations, but in the long run, everyone is the richer for it.
Your Call To Action
1. Check in: Do you know who you are and what you were born to do?
2. Check in again: Do you have the courage to bring your life purpose out into the light and let it grow and flourish?
3. Give yourself permission to bridge your passion into 6-figure profits.
Heather Dominick
Heather Dominick, founder of the EnergyRICH(R) Success System for Entrepreneurs, a proven step-by-step system that allows you to bridge your passion to 6-figure profit! Get started right away with your free business success kit: http://www.energyrichsuccesskit.com
View all articles by Heather Dominick