How Far Does "I Love You" Go?
http://www.careerfeed.net/articles/11536/1/How-Far-Does-I-Love-You-Go/Page1.html
Gail Gupton
Gail Gupton is a grandmother of twelve. She has developed a way to change Out-Of-Control children into kids who behave properly. If you have a child who back-talks, who's sarcastic, unruly, disrespectful, or disobedient, help is available at The Behavior Solution.
Read the Author's Blog. By Gail Gupton
Published on 01/21/2010
How far do a few little honest words go when related to a parent child relationship? There is one phrase that just never seems to be said enough times in our childhood. We grow to adulthood and still have trouble.
Children start and continue to learn by observation. From looking through the bars of the crib, children see and absorb more than we can possibly imagine.
As they grow, they tend to take on the behaviors, habits, and lifestyles of those around them. This is the parent's or guardian's opportunity to set the example of what will become the child's world.
Two of the most important qualities we can give a child is positive esteem and a positive attitude. These two things, alone, will spur the child to pursue their dreams and achieve accomplishments.
But, it starts at home - with us!
Are you guilty of sarcasm with your mate? Do you criticize your neighbors and friends in the privacy of your home, yet in the presence of your kids? If so, they may become critical, as well. You may not see this as being a negative quality in yourself, but you will see it in others. Your friends will, too.
Encourage your child with positive statements. Highlight your own positive strengths and manifest them in your profession, and as a parent. Teach by example by being proud of yourself so your children will be proud, too. They will be more apt to work for a sense of pride in their schoolwork, sports, and clubs.
Children flourish with praise. How much more would you do on your professional job if you received praise for your work? How much more would you put out if you were more appreciated? Your children are no different just because they're small and innocent.
Praise your child on a regular basis, no matter how small the accomplishment. Give them simple chores you know they can finish. He or she will quickly realize that positive acts result in positive feelings.
On the other hand, listen to your child when their feeling sad or angry or depressed. We all have these feelings and your child should not be punished for them. Understanding on the parent's part is extremely important. Do not brush your child off. This may cause confusion and difficult communication in the future. Your child will come to believe you don't care, consequently not talking to you about important issues.
Always try to manifest a positive attitude. Abide by the old saying, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade"! Avoid judging or criticizing, as this will only teach your child to judge and criticize others, including YOU. Arguments ensue.
Always leave the door of communication open. As an adult and as a parent yourself, have you ever wished you could talk to your own parent? The older a child gets, the gulf often grows wider.
If you knew you could have talked with your own parent without criticism, would you have done so?
Set goals for yourself and develop a plan to meet your goal. Then complete it. Start small. Show your child he or she can do the same thing. Then give praise in whatever way you can both during the process and after the goal is accomplished.
As often as possible, tell your child, "I love you", complete with a hug. Reinforce this many times during the day. In the face of bad behavior, remind yourself it's not the child you disagree with, only the behavior part.
Tuck little notes in the pockets or lunch bag. Send them cards in the mail or email. Constantly let them know they're loved and secure in your life.
As the child grows, he will perpetually repeat the process and will honestly be able to verbalize it from the depths of his being, "I love you, Mom and Dad".
As they grow, they tend to take on the behaviors, habits, and lifestyles of those around them. This is the parent's or guardian's opportunity to set the example of what will become the child's world.
Two of the most important qualities we can give a child is positive esteem and a positive attitude. These two things, alone, will spur the child to pursue their dreams and achieve accomplishments.
But, it starts at home - with us!
Are you guilty of sarcasm with your mate? Do you criticize your neighbors and friends in the privacy of your home, yet in the presence of your kids? If so, they may become critical, as well. You may not see this as being a negative quality in yourself, but you will see it in others. Your friends will, too.
Encourage your child with positive statements. Highlight your own positive strengths and manifest them in your profession, and as a parent. Teach by example by being proud of yourself so your children will be proud, too. They will be more apt to work for a sense of pride in their schoolwork, sports, and clubs.
Children flourish with praise. How much more would you do on your professional job if you received praise for your work? How much more would you put out if you were more appreciated? Your children are no different just because they're small and innocent.
Praise your child on a regular basis, no matter how small the accomplishment. Give them simple chores you know they can finish. He or she will quickly realize that positive acts result in positive feelings.
On the other hand, listen to your child when their feeling sad or angry or depressed. We all have these feelings and your child should not be punished for them. Understanding on the parent's part is extremely important. Do not brush your child off. This may cause confusion and difficult communication in the future. Your child will come to believe you don't care, consequently not talking to you about important issues.
Always try to manifest a positive attitude. Abide by the old saying, "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade"! Avoid judging or criticizing, as this will only teach your child to judge and criticize others, including YOU. Arguments ensue.
Always leave the door of communication open. As an adult and as a parent yourself, have you ever wished you could talk to your own parent? The older a child gets, the gulf often grows wider.
If you knew you could have talked with your own parent without criticism, would you have done so?
Set goals for yourself and develop a plan to meet your goal. Then complete it. Start small. Show your child he or she can do the same thing. Then give praise in whatever way you can both during the process and after the goal is accomplished.
As often as possible, tell your child, "I love you", complete with a hug. Reinforce this many times during the day. In the face of bad behavior, remind yourself it's not the child you disagree with, only the behavior part.
Tuck little notes in the pockets or lunch bag. Send them cards in the mail or email. Constantly let them know they're loved and secure in your life.
As the child grows, he will perpetually repeat the process and will honestly be able to verbalize it from the depths of his being, "I love you, Mom and Dad".