What to do With Eye Contact When Meeting New People
- By Michael Halper
- Published 01/18/2010
- Sociology
- Unrated
When we are out meeting new people, eye contact can be a very valuable event but it can sometimes be unclear what to do with it. First off, if you are getting eye contact from someone, it is an indicator of interest. Although, one indicator of interest by itself is not a confirmation as the person could be interested, but they could also be just looking in your general direction. Thus, key is to leverage the eye contact to get a second indicator of interest. But before we discuss how to do that, let's first look at what not to do when you receive eye contact and some of those are listed below.
Break eye contact: If you get eye contact from someone else, the absolute worst thing you can do is break eye contact. This is to look away in another direction when eye contact is made. The reason why this is not good is that this action can communicate that you are either not interested or that you have a high level of insecurity.
Do nothing: The second to worst thing that you could do is to do absolutely nothing. If you are out meeting new people and you get eye contact from somebody and do not do anything, then you are missing an opportunity and not fully taking advantage of the situation.
Stare: Another bad thing to do when we get eye contact is to stare back at the person trying to get eye contact again. This is fairly passive action it can make things uncomfortable. By being passive and by possibly making things uncomfortable, you will not be making progress toward making a connection and meeting new people.
Now that we have outlined what not to do when you get eye contact, we can look at what some good things to do are. But before we look at what you should do, let's identify what the goal of any action should be. If you are interested in meeting new people and you get eye contact, then your goal should be to find yourself in a conversation with that person. If that is the goal, then the key to success is to bridge the gap between eye contact and a conversation. Below are some actions that can help to bridge that gap.
The head nod: This is a simple nod of the head either up or down during eye contact.
The raise the glass: During eye contact, you raise your glass in a cheers type of gesture to the other person.
Slight smile: A slight smile back to the person during eye contact.
Casual wave: A casual wave could during eye contact.
If you notice with all of these actions, you will be forcing some sort of action from the other person. If they correspond in a favorable way, you then have another indicator of interest. Once you have that, it should be easier for either you or the other person to walk right over for a casual introduction. If the response from any of these actions is not favorable, you then have good information that may allow you to identify that they are not interested and you can then move on in your effort of meeting new people.
Break eye contact: If you get eye contact from someone else, the absolute worst thing you can do is break eye contact. This is to look away in another direction when eye contact is made. The reason why this is not good is that this action can communicate that you are either not interested or that you have a high level of insecurity.
Do nothing: The second to worst thing that you could do is to do absolutely nothing. If you are out meeting new people and you get eye contact from somebody and do not do anything, then you are missing an opportunity and not fully taking advantage of the situation.
Stare: Another bad thing to do when we get eye contact is to stare back at the person trying to get eye contact again. This is fairly passive action it can make things uncomfortable. By being passive and by possibly making things uncomfortable, you will not be making progress toward making a connection and meeting new people.
Now that we have outlined what not to do when you get eye contact, we can look at what some good things to do are. But before we look at what you should do, let's identify what the goal of any action should be. If you are interested in meeting new people and you get eye contact, then your goal should be to find yourself in a conversation with that person. If that is the goal, then the key to success is to bridge the gap between eye contact and a conversation. Below are some actions that can help to bridge that gap.
The head nod: This is a simple nod of the head either up or down during eye contact.
The raise the glass: During eye contact, you raise your glass in a cheers type of gesture to the other person.
Slight smile: A slight smile back to the person during eye contact.
Casual wave: A casual wave could during eye contact.
If you notice with all of these actions, you will be forcing some sort of action from the other person. If they correspond in a favorable way, you then have another indicator of interest. Once you have that, it should be easier for either you or the other person to walk right over for a casual introduction. If the response from any of these actions is not favorable, you then have good information that may allow you to identify that they are not interested and you can then move on in your effort of meeting new people.
Michael Halper
Michael Halper has a passion for coaching individuals toward personal and professional development. For more information about coaching and development visit Compass Coaching you can read more about Dealing with Eye Contact or Relationship Coaching.
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